Job: Social Worker, fostering team, an inner city London borough
Until a couple of years ago, apart from the odd cold and minor ear infections I had never been ill in my life. By the time I reached my 30th birthday I had developed chronic gastritis, chronic IBS and a year later I started to experience severe attacks of vertigo, which was eventually diagnosed as labyrinthitis, a form of virus that affects the inner ear.
I felt unwell every day. At times the vertigo and the gastritis symptoms would subside but the IBS symptoms were always present. I was put on a very restricted diet, but I was still in pain and I felt constantly bloated and uncomfortable. I stopped socialising and against my wishes I had to give up work. I was a counsellor/social worker and loved my job very much. Due to the stress that I was experiencing with my symptoms my relationship with my partner broke down and he moved out of our flat.
I saw doctors on a weekly basis. I was fortunate enough to have private insurance and was able to see many consultants and specialists. I also saw homeopaths, herbalists, naturopaths and dieticians. I had numerous tests and did physiotherapy for the vertigo, but nothing was really helping.
The gastric symptoms felt as if my stomach was burning away. I could not digest any food due to the IBS and the vertigo attacks were reducing me to a very helpless mood. I felt totally burnt out.
In the back of my mind I knew that I had been very stressed at work. I had not been happy in my relationship (which started a year before I got ill), my diet had been quite poor for a long time and I was overall pushing myself too much.
My feelings of helplessness and anxieties increased. I was eventually referred to a clinical psychologist who put me on anti-depressants. I could not cope with the side effects (increased anxiety) and gave them up. I saw a hypnotherapist who helped me with my anxieties. The sessions gave me some relief but my health was not improving. The more ill I felt, the more desperate I became.
One day I woke up feeling even worse. My vertigo symptoms were really becoming overwhelming and I was crying most of the time. That morning I remembered picking up a leaflet a week earlier, advertising a self-healing course at Centre with Master Aiping Wang. I rang them up and went along to the course.
Ms Wang claimed to be able to help me with all my symptoms, through relaxations and healing sessions.
Their work is based on the Chinese understanding of energy and health. Ms Wang told me that by raising my positive energy level, I would slowly release the negative energy that was blocking my healing.
I did my first healing session and felt very relaxed but nothing more. It was the confidence of Ms Wang and the testimonies of clients that persuaded me to come back. I knew nothing about energy healing but I felt so desperate for a solution that I decided to give it a try.
I have now been coming to the centre on a daily basis for 4 months. After two months of healing and relaxation sessions all my symptoms of IBS disappeared and slowly but surely my gastritis symptoms diminished. I still have vertigo but I am lot less fearful of the symptoms. I am now able to go swimming three times a week and I socialise at the weekend (day-time). I started to do some physiotherapy for the vertigo again (I had to stop physiotherapy since it used to worsen my symptoms and increased my anxiety).
My depression has lifted and my feelings of anxieties have dramatically reduced. I have not fully recovered but I feel on the way to recovery. I do not feel desperate any more. I am no longer crying and I am coping a lot better with every aspect of my life. Instead of feeling as if there was no way out, I am not looking forward to a brighter future. I am hopeful and as a result I feel much stronger.
The process of healing naturally has helped me to recognise the connection between mind and body and how my emotions have had such a big impact on the physical health. I have understood that by healing my emotions I am healing my body.
My experience of healing at Centre often feels as if a miracle is taking place.
The instructors at Centre have provided me with 100% support every step of the way and have show a great deal of understanding, compassion and patience during difficult times. (Written in November 2002).
May 2007
Much has changed since writing my testimonial in November 2002.
I continued to attend early morning healing and relaxation sessions for a further two years until December 2004, when I gave birth to my first child
Isaac.
During these two years, every area of my life improved:
In June 2003 I felt strong enough to go back to full-time work and began to work for Islington Fostering service as a social worker, supporting and training families to care for foster children. At about the same time, I met my partner Peter, with whom I still enjoy a fulfilling relationship.
But most importantly, I got my health back. With each healing and relaxation session I felt stronger and more positive.
Increasingly, the sessions helped me to change my negative thoughts into positive ones. My depression completely lifted and I continually felt physically stronger.
I also began to run every morning at 7.30am before work (this was suggested to me by my instructor). Running was hard at first because it triggered strong vertigo symptoms. With regular running practice and after many months, I was able to run for over an hour without feeling any symptoms.
The birth of my son Isaac took 10 hours and was an easy delivery. The relaxation technique learned at Centre, helped me to remain calm during most of the labour (almost!)
At that time, I only had one fear remaining: I was concerned about post-natal depression. I had experienced such low moods when I was ill and I was scared that those feelings would all come flowing back.
I can now say that even during the most challenging times at home and this includes no sleep, a crying baby, a kitchen full of washing up and a partner working late most evenings, that I never fell back into depression, not once. The reasons for this are very clear to me: I had acquired the skills to change my feelings of depression into positive thought and positive actions. Every time I felt low, I told myself that this was negative and not useful. I would then force myself to think in a positive way and used every possible free moment to relax.
I now use these techniques in every part of my life. With time, any challenge, any difficulty, is eventually turned into a positive learning experience as opposed to a problem I can’t solve.
Today I work four days a week for the fostering service for the fostering recruitment and assessment team. I enjoy my work and feel that I am able to manage work/home balance well. I have just completed a PQ1 award course in Social work. It is a challenging degree level course in social work which is famously renowned amongst social workers to be hard to manage when working – not to mention caring for a toddler).
Following Isaac’s birth, I did not attend any sessions for 17 months. A year ago, I began to do some sessions online. Doing sessions from home makes it a lot easier for me as I lead a busy life and would not be able to go to Centre.
The online sessions help me to increase my awareness about relaxation techniques and about how to manage my own health and increase my energy levels. Overall, I am always learning new skills with regards to improving all areas of my life. Those skills also include how to manage my son’s behaviour in ways which increase his self-confidence and self-esteem.
I still run 4 times a week and mostly feel very fulfilled and happy in my life. I firmly believe that the above is a direct result of learning how to ‘be’ different in the world in order to connect to a more ‘positive energy field’ to lead a fulfilling life. My aim and goal for the future is to teach this knowledge and wisdom to help others to solve their problems and to improve their quality of lives.
Names have been changed to protect the client’s identity
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